Wednesday, February 24, 2010


I experience a little burst of optimistic extroversion about twenty minutes after I take Vicodin. I wish this feeling lasted longer. The chemical nature of the feeling intrigues me. Because it is a feeling... like a mood...not a sensation.

The aspect of my injury that is the most curious to me is not the pain, but the lack of strength...the weakness and the absence of a reflex in my right ankle. Several times a day, I try to stand on my toes. First I try the left leg, and I go up, almost bouncily. Then I try the right, and I wobble wobble wobble fall; I just can't do it. stand stand stand I say, and almost nothing happens. It reminds me a little of that feeling of trying to yell or talk in a dream. Those moments of sleep-space are interesting. Sometimes the desire to speak is so powerful that one wakes up mid-sentence.

I am told that I talk in my sleep often.

Time goes by, hazily. It is a February sort of way. Muffled, with narration.

This also means that I have had to take a break from the birds.

I've been thinking about fur. The next project involves fur, faux and otherwise. I cannot imagine wearing "real fur." When I think of it, I see flashes of Carrie covered in pig's blood. There is a sensitivity to it. It feels painful. "It hurts to look at you."

Monday, February 22, 2010

Now these are some rules that I can get behind...

Kate Zambreno, who blogs at the supremely awesome Frances Farmer is my Sister, posts some "rules for writing":

1) Fuck around a lot when you're young. Do things for EXPERIENCE. Have lots of traumatic toxic love affairs. The best way to really get at the psychology of others is when they're suspended over you.
2) Continuing with the idea of fucking up, have at least one total to complete breakdown during this time period, or if possible, have it related to some trauma from childhood.
4) After surviving, begin to come into your own, begin to awaken.
5)Read philosophy & theory - don't borrow the language, engage with the ideas
6) Be political. Have opinions. Be angry. It's boring to not be political and engage with the world.
7)Read lots of literature. Be a voracious, promiscuous, engaged reader. Read the avant-garde, the high-modernists, works in translation, marginalized and "minor" writers, small press authors. Read the majors (Virginia Woolf, Beckett). Read the obvious books, wait a decade and read the non-obvious books, and then go back reappraise the obvious books.
8)See the world, see yourself, see others, see art, film...
9)Begin to keep a fairly involved journal
10)Always have really great pens. And notebooks. Have a notebooking system.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Thursday, February 04, 2010

"Perhaps I am not I even if my little dog knows me but anyway I like what I have and now it is today."

Gertrude Stein


came across this image & was struck by the way in which it is a sort of mirror inverse of the above pic of GS, ABT, and Basket. Thank you, internet, for the weirdness.

Delirious Hem

My post on feminism & poetry is up at Delirious Hem. I also share some items from my commonplace book: Women and animals: Are they real?

image: "Parts" by Lorna Simposn

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Monday, February 01, 2010

is this real?