I had a dream last night that had many of the features of a classic anxiety dream. I was due to get on a plane to London in a few days time, and in order to enter the plane I needed a confirmation number. I was confident that the confirmation number was in an envelope which was in a box, but everything was a mess and I kept putting off the moment when I would actually open the letter to try and find out if the confirmation number was there. Also, the person with whom I had planned to travel had (seemingly abruptly) decided that she wished to stay home among her new friends. I could see that these friends were much more exciting than I was. They danced and partied and seemed willing to consume substances I refused. I thought to share my hurt and disappointment with my mother, but I then decided it was unfair to worry her. Outside there was a party, and my attention was divided. I had conflicting impulses: to join in, to sulk, to ask my friend for an explanation.

I intended to go to a wedding in a elaborate castle that was, oddly, in the middle of a large cemetery. At least the cemetery was the type without headstones, but it seemed rather a bad omen to get married amidst the dead, yet I also realized that perhaps that feature made the location more desirable to some. I thought briefly of poltergeist and the muddy caskets that bobbed up like buoys in the huge mud hole intended for a suburban, backyard pool. It occurred to me that it would be best to ride my bike, which was a little like a wooden motorcycle. I was to go downtown after the ceremony, and my bike was swift and light, but I also worried that it could blow up like a bundle of sticks.

When I woke up, I missed my friend terribly.